I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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