Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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