He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
