the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
