I feel like abortions should bother me more
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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