I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
