My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
