Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
