I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
