Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Someone shattered a urinal.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
