Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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