seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
