At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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