What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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