I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
