it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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