is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
