My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
this is an emotional support booty call
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
