please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Randomize