Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
