Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Dear god my vagina.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
