And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
