i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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