: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
