How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
