Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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