I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
