i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
