Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
