I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
