So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize