She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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