so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
