walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
