they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
