she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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