Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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