Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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