I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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