does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
