her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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