You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
