just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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