I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My balls are so social today.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
