He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Someone shattered a urinal.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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