Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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