yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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