I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
do nipples grow back?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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