Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
