Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
