i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
