we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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