Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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