My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
