All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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