i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So much rum. So many feels.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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