New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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