the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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