I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
