I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Are my feet made of real feet?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
